July 18, 2014 / by Eric

Oh man! I haven’t had this much to report about a single weekend since that time I left Aric & Benjamin in charge and they tried to rob a cold storage facility only to discover that Kumar couldn’t crack the safe and that Mr. Henry had robbed Bob’s house instead.*

Yes, we will still have our regular Magic drafting on Saturday at noon and 4pm. PLUS we’ll also be co-hosting the Hurley 3000 M15 Release Weekend Sealed Event with Mobius Cycle. Spaces for this 12:30 Sealed Event are still open, buy in is $30 and prize support will be generous. Yes, you heard that right, “generous,” now quit carping, you sharks. Sign in is at noon and caps at 8 people so arrive early and be ready to bring it!

What we WON’T have this Saturday is our 8pm draft. Because at 7pm on Saturday, immediately following our 4pm draft, the lounge closes for a private event to celebrate the upcoming wedding of our very own Dominic and Jenna.

That’s right, somebody’s getting married.

My son just loves those muppets.

And because I’ll personally be very involved with said wedding all weekend, we’re pulling an AL TV

and turning the shop into

Chrithew Ray Games

Just imagine what I could have done with time and some photoshop skills right there.

That’s right, we’re bringing in the philosophical genius of comedy duo and Matthew Martell to the shop and just letting them do whatever they want.

I mean, that’s a good idea, right?


In addition to all the magic, the weddings, the Christhewsphere, there’s also The World Cup (of DoTa). Right here in the Emerald City. This weekend! And to celebrate, we’re hosting an official at the Lounge with Saint Isaac because Skylar’s off in New Jersey conquering Dystopia.

mustache dude fears for New Jersey

New Jersey better watch itself because Skylar and the mustache man are about to GO OFF.

It’s gonna be the greatest weekend EVER!

So get your butt on down to the shop or the lounge, get involved, get crazy, hell, get married! And above all, be you, be happy and keep playing.

I know I will,


*Totally happened.

April 19, 2013 / by Margot Martell

My dearest Ral Zarek,

I know we haven’t yet been formally introduced, but I want you to know you’re the one for me.

No, seriously, I’m gonna gay marry the hell out of you.

Ral Zarek, the magnificent Izzet silver fox

I mean, let’s be real here. You had me at hello. And by “hello,” I mean -2: Lightning Bolt. And then there’s that look in your eyes, which is just so electric. Plus, I’ve always been keen on silver foxes.

Now listen, I know I’m probably not your usual type. I mean, I’m a Simic mage, and you’re buddies with that shifty Dracogenius Niv-Mizzet. My liege Zegana shudders with distaste at the very mention of his name. And yet, my love for you just feels so real! And the taboo just makes it feel that much more romantic, you know? We could be Romeo and… Julian? What I’m trying to say is, you are the Capulet to my Montague. The whatever the hell that lady in West Side Story’s name is to my whatever the hell that man in West Side Story’s name is. I’ve never been great with analogies, but you get what I’m saying.

My involvement in the civil turmoil of Ravnica has left me feeling just like so much Dead Weight, but just the thought of you sends my soul soaring like a Storm Crow! Just think of all the things we could do together! With your +1, we could tap down disapproving naysayers and spread the word of the great Geist of Saint Traft (who will naturally be our marriage officiant)! We can accelerate into our guild leaders a turn early! We can travel to Alara and tag-team the monsters of Jund with Ajani!


You’re a god among men, Ral. You’re Ravnica’s Zeus. Or, well, actually that’s probably just Izzet Staticaster, but you play well with him too! I want us to make a beautiful RUG gayby together! So sure am I that this love is real, I’ll do whatever it takes to convince you that we should be together. Plus, you and I both know it will be LOADS of fun when we twiddle each other’s… well, you know… Rods of Ruin.

So how about it, Ral? Take a chance on a Simic mage like me? Here, I’ll make you an offer. Let’s flip five coins. Every heads means one extra turn we take together. I’ve heard you’re a gambling man. So I must ask then: Are you in?

Yours longingly,

The Drunken Planeswalker